Last night I heard the story of how my aunt Lina cut her hair.
It was 1981. She had had two children. She had lost all the weight and was as fit as could be. Had the look of shining health I imagine – even today she is the picture of a healthy life albeit with a cigarette. She walked into the salon one day and said cut it off! It was GORGEOUS she says. I was HOT!
She was telling me how she wore a pair of those sexy jeans that had a zipper at the bottom and a lacy top the day she met Mick Jagger. Her hair freshly cut. That was the first tour she went on. They became fast friends for life. She tells me that rock’n’roll keeps her young. But if you sleep with anyone they never invite you back. She’s glad she never crossed that line. Sometimes frigid is a good thing.
It’s a beautiful thing, a haircut. The best thing in the world to transition from one stage of life to the other.
Another thing she told me is that as a Scorpio I am a woman of power. The seat of our power is in the genitals… therefore scorpios make great prostitutes (and here I choked because I thought she was gonna say lovers!) but she discourages that direction. I am told that I will re-invent myself every few years (as I have been known to do to date). I have the nature of the phoenix – rising out of ashes as good as new with the power to do great things and soar above it all. She switched from astrology to numerology and made my head spin but there it was, the number 8. Near the number of God (didn’t know before that God had a number). But my allergy to numbers prevailed and the details left my brain as soon as it touched down.
At the end of it all I looked at her hair and I looked at mine and decided, there are worse things than being a woman alone. We could do worse!
So there wasn’t anything on at the cinema that I hadn’t seen already that I wanted to see. I’ve had my fill of aliens for the summer and thinking like a man was enough romantic comedy. Of course, I had seen What to Expect 5 times. Wow… even reading this back I realize just what kind of movie buff I’m turning into returning to being. By process of elimination (seen it, cartoon, junk, seen it, oh… ok let’s give it a go) I ended up in the Rock of Ages.
I didn’t expect what came next. From the beginning of the movie I loved it! I was reminded how weird musicals can be (isn’t it weird how she can just break into a song in the middle of the bus and no one around her thinks its strange?) and how much I am a child of the 80s. I was taken back to the first song I learned to sing and the first dance moves I ever did. It was a trip back to when love songs were sweet and thoughts of adulthood involved mini skirts and teased hair.
It was delightful! The story was a bit classical – boy and girl go to the big city seeking fame and finding eachother – and the songs told it so very very well. The earthiness of 80s rock’n’roll broke through loud and clear song after song. And it surprised me! It really did. There were as few moments in it that really really surprised me.
The mayor. What a guy! I mean, you could smell the wimp on him but getting past the wimp was the shock of how much of a beating he could take!
Stacy Jaxx. OMGoodness! When he spoke sense it was like… seriously?!
When the song “I can’t fight this feeling any longer” came on I near passed out… it was SOOO FUNNY!
Zeta-Jones was such a PRUDE! I’ve seen America’s Sweethearts but in this she was absolutely lethal. You want to see her “reach across the aisle”.
Also shocking was how good the music was. And the acting. It was great! Tom Cruise was almost as weird as he is in real life. Russel Brand was a little less weird than he is in real life. Alec Baldwin has found himself a brand new niche. He did so well I almost forgave him being a total jerk!
I wanted to sing along from the minute I sat down. Not because of good music but because of music that I grew up with, timeless stuff that still makes you remember your first kiss or driving to school in the car with your parents. The music was used to bring to life real live memories of sentiments gone by. Some of the things about the 80s that will never be forgotten came to life… like
The stupid clothes.
The stupid teased hair.
The ghastly birth of the boy band.
It was still a shock to see how white Michael had become.
Vinyl was on sale still. (Do you know my spell check doesn’t even recognize “vinyl”?)
Pop was booed off the stage.
Graphics were boxy and brown was popular for advertising.
Not being able to tell a girl from a guy from behind. Tight clothes, man skirts, long hair. NUTS.
The ugly ugly beginnings of rap.
Perhaps the moment I found funniest wasn’t the most obvious. Something the manager said… “I wish the truth were falser.” I’m sure he did in the end.
Have a look and send me a note when you’ve seen it! I’d love to hear what you took home from it.