To be the victim of a stalker…

…is not a nice feeling.  Particularly when you know the stalker is of the wild predatory type.  You always feel as though someone is hiding in the bushes…

stalker hiding in the bushes

…and if you actually catch him watching you the look in his eyes can be quite chilling…

Oh no! He's looking at me!

…God forbid if he were ever to make his approach…

Someone help me please! There's a stalker at my door!

…and give you a piece of his mind!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! He speaks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This little smarty-cat made my day!  Julius went wild – he loves cats – and the little animal would not go away.  When he finally did get to the door he gave Julius a right piece of his mind.

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What had happened was…

…I met this girl.  Last night in the club.  A cute kitten too!  Gorgeous redhead.  I swear I thought she was a model.  And she was all over me.  Seriously!  You gotta believe me man!  So… there she was purring and rubbing up next to me on the dance floor.  I was like girl relax!  There’s enough Black Lightning to go around – he’s not goin’ anywhere.  In fact I’ll be here all week!   Soon enough she had me running for the door.  She was tellin’ me this and tellin’ me that and how she has never taken a black cat home before.

So we get to her place and start to get close.  She slipped into something comfortable.  And I slipped outta my pants.  And then…

Black Lightning Walk of Shame

… HER HUSBAND WALKED IN!