Singlestreaming Protocol for Lightning Storm Blackout

  1. Tuck Juju and Lola into their beds with puppy sedatives on board.
  2. Keep all doors closed to hold the cold air from the a/c in for as long as possible.
  3. Sit on the back porch and watch the electrical fireworks dance in the sky.  With smart phone.
  4. Invite sibling/bff/neighbour to do #3 with you.  Not a problem if you decide to skip this step – alone has its own unique benefits.
  5. For real entertainment, skip #1, take the dogs on the porch with you, and let the show begin.  If the thunder doesn’t wake the neighbours, the dogs will, and you’ll have a reasonably justifiable answer to any petty complaints.  Also, you’ll laugh so hard at the performance that you’ll sleep well even if #2 doesn’t help and the place gets really hot.
  6. On your smart phone follow the updates from friends in the affected area and friends in the power company.  It is the one time that having friends in the second category will do you any good.
  7. Pray the house stays cool enough for you to roll into bed without, God forbid, having to open the windows and listen to the mosquitoes do what the dogs were doing if you actually went with step #5.
  8. Strip naked when porch-sitting and update-watching gets dull and power seems to be taking forever.  This step is best done indoors as lightning by nature gives off light.  Don’t want to add to the neighbours’ distress.
  9. Put a glass of cool water next to the bed.  The purpose of this is to remind you when you reach out and touch it that this is the temperature you WOULD have been enjoying if you had only bought the damn generator when your dad was trying to push you to do it.  Can also be used to keep you hydrated and cool.
  10. Sleep.  As early as possible.  Because tomorrow night you’ll go for broke doing the things you wanted to do tonight.

All Hail the BFF!

She told me to meet her at the sushi bar we often confuse with home.  Kawasaki (not his real name, but don’t tell his boss) always experiments on us, putting a new roll on the plate for us to pop like calorie-free pills.  Isn’t sushi soooooooo good?  We forget it’s food!

And so does he.  To Kawasaki sushi is art.  Poor chef had no idea he was handling the most powerful thing in the world.