Revolution

It began with the neck

twisting slightly to the left

following a sound

of a heart’s bugle call.

It wasn’t smart, this turn

but blindly seeking

a missed beat, a correction,

heartflow shouting,

purpose scouting.

And what began continued,

ears open wide

to the tide

of other things

the heart should know.

Once begun

it followed through,

straining for more

of the sound

the head turned round

just a little more,

eyes tear away from the goal

of what was once ahead

and now instead

the straight ahead shifts

leftward, inward, more and again.

Thoughts spin,

pivoting focus

out of the familiar

comfort zone

to walk alone…

Away from all teachings

guidance, and direction

stepping out in faith

without protection.

Knowing that the darkness brings

either a ledge to stand on

or lessons on how to fly,

always God-led

and grace fed.

A new vista

leftward leaning

turning more

till inward facing

bracing

into whence it came;

introspection,

home again.

Stirring deep

inside the Be

learning from the God

indwelling the soul

where He made Me whole.

Turning back to the dawn

of the self

lies wealth –

not of what was

left behind

but what I find

buried deep

in the honest purity

of naked being.

At one with

maker and creation lies

the truth

of Revolution.

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Resolution over…?

 

This happened very quickly didn't it?

The Singlestream has been silent for some time.  There are reasons for this.

THE FIRST is that Bushlings has been consumed with work.  It has invaded my dreams with deductibles and profit shares, has usurped the place of writing in my mornings with blackberry checks and emails, and completely depleted my energy stores. Many a 3 a.m. has found me fully dressed and fast asleep on my sofa where I took a stop to ‘catch my breath’ with Lola curled up next to me and Julius’ hairy tail in my face.  Just begging for a New Year’s Resolution is my work-life balance.

THE SECOND is that I have engaged a life coach.  She is in New York, we meet on skype weekly, and she rocks.  The first task we zoomed in on was my work-life balance in situation number 1 above as part of my general foundation of wellbeing.  But as so much heavy stuff has shifted to the surface and so many deeply personal discoveries have been made, I have struggled to write in my customary flippant voice.  There’s a lot of work to be done on me and my New Year’s Resolution is going to be packed tight with things dug out of this particularly fertile self-excavation.

But THE THIRD and scariest of all is my hair.  It has grown and grown hidden by bunches of tight curls.  The longer it grows the curlier it gets and the curls bounce up at their loosest around my ear lobes.  I don’t know how I got the great idea to take the blowdryer to it.  And the flat iron.  But BAM there it was.  Straight as an arrow and brushing my shoulders!  The time has come and my Resolution is complete. 

What do I do NOW?!

Sounds like another New Year’s Resolution?  We shall see…

2. The Power of Each Other

 She is my friend. She’s my family. My insides. She will be fine because she has to be fine. That’s how important she is to me. ~Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

We all sat around the table with one of my girlfriends at the head.  She would instruct us, training our noses and our taste buds.  The spread was gorgeous – cheeses of all kinds white and yellow, some with blue veins, lush grapes, creamy humus, toasted pita, spanish tortilla, and twenty elegant island women comfortable in linen slacks and summer dresses.  Two wine glasses were at each place – one for the whites we would taste first and another for the bold reds.

The energy of the room could be seen as a glow throughout the district.  Power pulsing from each woman combined in the vibrant room in flavours of family and friendship, sitting on the house like a heralding star.  There were sisters, cousins, girlfriends, mothers, aunts, grandmothers.  There were matriarchs with manchego and shrimp and adolescents with coca cola in their glasses.  English and spanish would alternate throughout the room with white and red wine.  Stories were shared, wisdom imparted, updates given and scarlet jokes teased out of the most unexpected places.

It was as if these ladies know what I had intended to write about today:  A woman without girlfriends is a lost soul cut adrift without an anchor.

In going through the circles of love formed around a woman there will grow an understanding that she meets the varied needs of many.  What is not visible in this picture, however, are her varied needs and how they are met.  She is a complex, multi-faceted, interesting and unique being.  No one person can meet all her needs.  She has many passions and many contexts, plays many roles in the lives of others.  In her own story there are also many roles, a full cast of interesting people who play a part in her own life.  Of all the people she chooses to populate her stage perhaps the most underestimated cast members are her girlfriends.

No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends. ~Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

It is a common tragedy – the woman newly divorced finds herself in a place she does not recognize and did not anticipate ever visiting.  From the day of her wedding, if not sometime before, she has devoted herself to her husbands’ needs, desires, soothed his ego and raised his children.  Her bridesmaids on that day of flowers, lace and vows, would have known standing pretty in pink satin that they were losing her, handing her over.  Even with the best of her intentions Saturday morning breakfast dates would give way to his laundry and Thursday night karaoke would be traded in for cooking him dinner.  She would play the role blissfully unaware for a time and all would be right in her shrinking world.

And then the day of parting.  The feeling of failure, the complete rending of her world into two parts of his and hers, and the stifling silence and isolation that follows.  She probably hasn’t seen her bridesmaids in months.  They probably followed her lead into their own shrinking worlds of domestic conformity.  She is in a desolate place, an isolation that she helped to create.

Should the story end there?  Could this have been avoided?  Does she always have to start from scratch?  The moral – Girlfriends do not lose their importance when a man enters your life.  They are just as important.  Whose shoulder will you cry on when he fails?  And let’s face it, he is human, he will fail.  Who will advise her on the ins and outs of men and women?  With whom will she share the things that only women understand?

Maybe our girlfriends are our soul mates and guys are just people to have fun with.
~Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

I am convinced that fewer marriages would fail if the woman had maintained relationships with her girlfriends.  She would need less from her man, demand less of him, he would feel less pressured by her.  And sure, there is the potential benefit of keeping him on his toes a little with the knowledge that she can make it on her own without him.  Why should a relationship with him be the only one she has?

[CAVEAT – I am only a casual bystander to marriage and able only to jump on a theoretical soapbox in this instance.  A Bushlings opinion only.]

To the woman who finds herself alone, I encourage you to reconnect with the girl you were, with the girls you were a girl with, and perhaps with new women that can share your girlhood with you.  Life is not meant to be lived alone and company and strength is not only found in a man.

To the woman in love, do not forsake the parts of yourself that will always be a mystery to him.  Continue to enjoy the company of your girlfriends.  Share together, shop together, cry together, and celebrate together.  Seek to learn from and understand each other.  They are your support system and you are theirs.  Be the support to them that you would want for your time of need.  You never know when that time might come.

Finally, to the Single Woman, I am sure I do not need to say this.  For many of you this is your only circle, your smallest most intimate ring, and your only support system.  Love your girlfriends and care for them.  They will bring you great joy, comfort and strength in your solitude.  They will be your family if you have none.

 You girls are the loves of her life, a guy is lucky to come in fourth.
~Mr. Big, Sex and the City

 Today celebrate the women in your life and share the power of your love with them.