Peter Rabbit Got Lost

It’s just plain MEAN what whoever they were did to him.  Let him loose in a country where Bunnies like him do not live wild,  in the scorching heat of the Caribbean summer, in a neighbourhood where cats and iguanas are the pests, and in a subdivision where at least 15 dogs are walked twice a day.  He must have belonged to someone not long ago – his collar is still on him.  They probably saw him as another mouth to feed (and backside to walk behind) and left him in a field full of spanish needle.  Meet Black Peter, the Rabbit.

Poor little Peter! If the dogs get him he will WISH for Mr. McGreggor’s pie!

The pups didn’t pick up the scent.  The two dogs ahead of us hadn’t either.  But why on earth would they be looking for the smell of some northern rabbit that they’ve never seen the likes of in these parts?  But Juju watches his mama very closely and followed my eyes to what I was watching so intently.  And went over to investigate himself.  Lola still hasn’t seen him – she didn’t want to put her paws on the grass (brat).

 

 

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Walking Naked

Isn’t it amazing how two animals of the same breed and from the same parents can be so different?

Take Lola.  She LOVES to be naked.  Julius sees it as a violation of all things macho and canine – the core values he stands (and pees) for.  Yesterday they were trimmed low low low (to the noyaz as a Caymanian would say).  Ready for the Summer heat and to combat the insect infestation that comes with rainy season.

Take this morning’s walk…

Lola is all smiles and ready to go show off her haircut…

But Juju is like “MAMA WHYYYYYYY!!!  ALL THE OTHER DOGS ARE GONNA LAUGH AT MEEEEEE!!!!!”

Lola prances along like it’s a catwalk… “See mama?  See how the haircut makes me look like I’m smiling?  Isn’t that funny?  Cuz dog’s don’t smile right?”

She dances and pounces, chases other dogs and pulls to the end of her leash.  “Mama try this angle!  What about this one?!  Aren’t I just too cute?!” (Julius – ” Expeditionist Brat”)

But not so my mortified Julius.   He is determined to turn his back to me until I give in and take him inside to hide his shame.  I’m lucky I got a shot of his face!

Don’t you love me? Why do you do this to me?

But turning your back has other disadvantages… and leaves nothing to the imagination.

Please don’t tell him! He’ll never speak to me again!

Wake the Sun

Puppies leading me to sunrise

Today I walked the dawn with my puppies on a lead.

We trotted our ten legs awake at gentle morning speed.

Wind tickled through our ears and whispered all around.

Sleep-slow feet and paws pit-pattered on the ground

Till through a brightened dew we three slowed to a stop

Squinting up we realized we’d woke the sunshine up.

What had happened was…

…I met this girl.  Last night in the club.  A cute kitten too!  Gorgeous redhead.  I swear I thought she was a model.  And she was all over me.  Seriously!  You gotta believe me man!  So… there she was purring and rubbing up next to me on the dance floor.  I was like girl relax!  There’s enough Black Lightning to go around – he’s not goin’ anywhere.  In fact I’ll be here all week!   Soon enough she had me running for the door.  She was tellin’ me this and tellin’ me that and how she has never taken a black cat home before.

So we get to her place and start to get close.  She slipped into something comfortable.  And I slipped outta my pants.  And then…

Black Lightning Walk of Shame

… HER HUSBAND WALKED IN!

Up Close – Caly-puss and Anji-puss

Caly-Puss

Name: Caly-puss

Age: About 1 human year

Intrests: Extreme kitty sports involving consumption of strings, destroying furniture, milk.  Really likes milk.

Looking for:  New ways to keep my man interested.  Leaning towards jumping out of the third floor window on to a ledge while he begs me to come back inside.  But only after the stitches are out.

Anji-Puss (Darth Vader)

Name: Anji-puss, also known as Spook and Darth Vader and Pooter

Age: About 15 human years

Intrests: None.  Go away.

Looking for:  Didn’t you hear me the first time?  Beat it!

MEOW!!

Last night I went out to dinner with my parents and some visiting delegates who were here for a conference my mom was hosting for work.  She was telling the story about her Grand-puss in Kingston.  The table got to hear her explanation that she has two Grand-pusses; one in Kingston and one she is caring for at home while her son, my brother, lives abroad.  A lady across the table, with the sound of England in her speech, said “Well, I am now caring for my Grand-gerbil now that my son is gone to Sweden.  We aren’t doing very well are we, darling!”

Now.  We have had this conversation.  Grand-gerbils and Grand-pusses and Grand-Lolas and Grand-Juliuses – they are much easier to babysit.  So I was proud of my mom (so well adjusted!) when she said as much to the table.  I had been holding my breath.

So the Grand-pusses had some issues this past week.  Caly-puss, the Kingston silver tabby Grand-puss, swallowed a ball of string.  Bloody animal swallowed the whole thing after playing with it and beating it half to death.  See why I prefer dogs?  They eat sensible things… like their own poop.  Bro found her, after coming home from a long shift at work taking care of human bodies, with a lump in her tummy and a cord hanging out of her mouth.  And rushed her to the kitty hospital.

She had to have surgery and he made the arrangements with narratives to home via blackberry messenger.  Poor guy sat waiting for news of his second daughter’s fate having to deal with his sister on the phone every five minutes with “What are they saying now?”  “Is she out yet?” and when he’d had enough “Why aren’t you answering me?”

Turns out Caly-puss somehow had one end of string tied around her tongue and the rest of it had perforated her bowel.  Whatever that means.  They tell me these things like I should understand.  But this much I got – my niece is sick bad.  All this from his girlfriend after he’d quit talking to me.  So they opened her up, fixed what they could, sewed her up and wished for the best.  The family was then assured that kitty bowels heal really quickly.

My sister, here at home, was impressed upon by Anji-puss, the home Grand-puss, to send a message.  She must have been so worried!

The best part about this whole thing is that Anji is the Darth Vader of cats.  More likely to have sent a “DIE BEATCH!!!!” message if she’d had any say in the matter. 

Singlestreaming Protocol for Lightning Storm Blackout

  1. Tuck Juju and Lola into their beds with puppy sedatives on board.
  2. Keep all doors closed to hold the cold air from the a/c in for as long as possible.
  3. Sit on the back porch and watch the electrical fireworks dance in the sky.  With smart phone.
  4. Invite sibling/bff/neighbour to do #3 with you.  Not a problem if you decide to skip this step – alone has its own unique benefits.
  5. For real entertainment, skip #1, take the dogs on the porch with you, and let the show begin.  If the thunder doesn’t wake the neighbours, the dogs will, and you’ll have a reasonably justifiable answer to any petty complaints.  Also, you’ll laugh so hard at the performance that you’ll sleep well even if #2 doesn’t help and the place gets really hot.
  6. On your smart phone follow the updates from friends in the affected area and friends in the power company.  It is the one time that having friends in the second category will do you any good.
  7. Pray the house stays cool enough for you to roll into bed without, God forbid, having to open the windows and listen to the mosquitoes do what the dogs were doing if you actually went with step #5.
  8. Strip naked when porch-sitting and update-watching gets dull and power seems to be taking forever.  This step is best done indoors as lightning by nature gives off light.  Don’t want to add to the neighbours’ distress.
  9. Put a glass of cool water next to the bed.  The purpose of this is to remind you when you reach out and touch it that this is the temperature you WOULD have been enjoying if you had only bought the damn generator when your dad was trying to push you to do it.  Can also be used to keep you hydrated and cool.
  10. Sleep.  As early as possible.  Because tomorrow night you’ll go for broke doing the things you wanted to do tonight.