Saturday morning sunshine woke me. But I wish I’d blocked out the light. I DID NOT WANT to wake up.
In my dream just before I woke up and rolled over on the softest bed ever, somewhere in New York City. There was a duvet and loads of pillows covered in white cotton sheets. The light was filtering in through a balcony door somewhere – I couldn’t see it from my nest but I knew it was there. This was my room. And I was not alone. Through one half-opened eye I could see to my right, asleep on his stomach, was my life partner. A well-built man with back muscles relaxed under tightly stretched nut-brown skin, he promised to be at least two inches over six feet tall standing. I got the sense of comfort, security, belonging and strength from the moment. And then there was a knock on the door.
In came our housekeeper to give him something important to sign. “Come in” he grumbled from his position, head in pillow. “We’re not doin’ anything.” That one made me smile inside but I was too sleepy to laugh. But I did draw the blankets up around my chin, snuggling deeper down. She came in, gave him a pen and a piece of paper, he signed and she left as quietly as she’d come. When she was on her way back to the door he turned to me and drew me into his space and we both went back to sleep.
And I woke up.
That day I decided it was ok to dream of love. There is no shame in it and nothing dirty about it.
The dream followed me for days until I met its equal.
I woke up this morning to Lola licking my hand hanging off the side of the bed. She spent some time on my fingers and started pulling at my whole hand with her two front paws. My dog loves her hind legs so much I think she thinks she’s human. She follows my every move when I put on my makeup and brush my teeth so that I’m sure if she tried she could do it herself. Next she’ll want me to teach her to drive! And so she took my hand in her two hands and tried to coax me off the bed.
But I didn’t want to wake up.
I had just walked into my Aunty’s house in London to tell her that I had found the perfect house! Before that moment of waking, I had trecked all of the South East’s suburbs looking for a home for me and my two dogs. It needed to be reasonably near to the train station, reasonably near to a park or a nice walking route, and reasonably near to my Aunty. I had found the perfect flat for the three of us to live in and was going to take my photos to Aunty for her opinion. And then Lola woke me up. To reality again.
I am dreaming at night of a new life, travelling to new cities in my sleep. There is a growing itch spreading past my toes and my ankles, telling me it’s time to get on a flight. And so this morning I booked my flight to New York.