The Age of Irresponsibility

I regret to announce to those who have missed the calls of the harbingers, the omens written in their day-to-day lives, and the signs in every newspaper in the known world – The Age of Irresponsibility is upon us.

Don’t get me wrong – there have been irresponsible people in every era of human existence.  They have been called by many labels – lazy, entitled, promiscuous, spoiled, dead-beat, and many other names that separate them from the norm of responsibility.  But in the subjective age in which we now live, we have been invited to consider and have heartily accepted and gone overboard with the consideration for the “other side”.  Psychology has pointed to reasons in nature and nurture that lead to characters developing along irresponsible lines.  Because we now have reasons we find ourselves excusing the behaviours.  And with the words “lazy”, “dead-beat”, “irresponsible” and “promiscuous” being classified under the headling “judgmental”, the responsible among us avoid calling it like it is.  What follows is that those with latent tendencies toward – yup I’m calling it – laziness and disrespect see the stigma removed and sign up to the growing list of the irresponsible at a rate of thousands per minute.

But what, I hear you wonder, is irresponsibility?  What does it mean?  What does it look like?

Bushy’s definition is that irresponsibility is a failure to fulfill one’s obligations and to keep one’s word.  It comes from a selfish, unnecessary and reckless disregard for the needs and the feelings of others.

I hate to draw a sexist example, but guys you make it so damn easy.  Ladies.  When was the last time a guy in your life said to you “I’ll be there at 8” and showed up at 8:30 without a phone call?  Or how about the last time a guy in your life said “I’ll be there at 8” and didn’t show up at all?  If you say nothing, isn’t it remarkable how your next conversation (and there are questions in my mind as to whether or not there SHOULD be a next conversation) goes without any apology for your lost 30 minutes or your ruined evening?  That, my love, is irresponsibility.

Let’s take another example.  We all have at least one ditzy woman in our lives who consistently does stupid things.  For example, sleep around.  Yes… I could have used a guy example here as well but some things are just TOO easy.  She lets herself intervene over and over and over as the rebound (“But he said he was over it!”) or she may have a tendency to go for the ones who are already quite married to someone else (“But his wife is SUCH a b****).  What refrain do you hear from her as a reason (**cough-EXCUSE-cough***) for her behaviour?  “But Busy you don’t understand.  I LOVE him!”, “I can’t help it if his wife is a bitter old woman”, and most common and bloody irritating “You can’t control who you fall in love with.”

Well I’ma call it.  That is BULLSHIT.

Everyone has choices to make every single day of our lives.  We choose what we eat.  We choose how much we exercise.  We choose when to go to the bathroom.  We choose whether or not to pick up the phone and cancel an appointment we cannot make.  We choose whether or not we spread our legs to this man or that.  We choose whether we will go out and find a job.  We choose whether or not we complete our studies.  We choose what behaviours and what people we expose ourselves to and what feelings we allow ourselves to dwell on.  We choose where we are every minute of every day.

If I were to make a practice of irresponsibility my world would fall apart.  My staff would suffer, my family would suffer, I would lose the roof over my head and be dependent on someone else for the food on my plate.  How is it that others escape this fate?  Have I signed up for that much more responsibility?  Is there something wrong with me?  Maybe I should try this out and see if life is easier that way.

This is the thinking that has led to irresponsibility being the new normal.

I worry for the next generation.  Irresponsibility doesn’t travel like an STD, passing on from mother to child and with exchange of body fluids.  This bad boy catches like the flu.

Have you been immunized?

Classic irresponsible statements:

“She told me she was ok with just sex.”  She’s a woman dumbass.  And you knew this.

“I can’t help it!”  Then who the hell can?

“You don’t understand!  Marriage is very complicated.”  I didn’t tell you to sign up for it.  But you did.  So deal.

“I fell asleep.”  Don’t wake up next time.

“Ohhh… you were waiting?”  Oh yeah… but never again.

“But his wife treats him so badly!”  I’m sure she knows why.

“She’s just a friend.”  Uh huh…

“You just want to control me.”  Actually no… I don’t trust you to control yourself.

“You just don’t understand what I’m going through.”  You mean what you’re PUTTING YOURSELF through?  No.  You’re right.  I do not understand.

And my favourite.  One line that, if said too many times for the same offense makes the hearer want to carve the words in stone and shove them down an irresponsible throat.

“I’m sorry.”

So am I, luv.  So am I.

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9 thoughts on “The Age of Irresponsibility

  1. I cannot express my love for this post. I have encountered very similar things on a not-relationship basis recently but I agree a million percent with the whole article. Loooooooove ❤

      • 😀 Yeah this is one of things that is definitely universal. Oh if only this kind of thinking could be contained on an island in the middle of nowhere somehow, or even better – just killed off!

      • Did you take the test? It’s actually really cool! I wish I could track the results and see the male/female split. I wonder if it would prove or disprove some of my theories… hmm…

      • Yeah I did, I got 36.5. Not soooo high but not too bad I think. 🙂 I found the graph of the results at the end interesting, but I have a theory that the people who do those kind of tests are usually the ones who care and will therefore get a good result anyway 🙂

      • Healthy score that! Your theory rings true for me – the people who care enough to do the test value responsibility and are by nature responsible. Sucks really. Wish the irresponsible among us were branded or tagged in some way…

      • Thanks! After a while, irresponsible can generally be sniffed out – sometimes they are too good at hiding it though, and that’s when the damage begins :/

  2. Pingback: The Relationship Project | singlestreaming

  3. Excellent post. I have to give it to you on this one! You go right to the Heart of the issue: “Irresponsibility is a failure to fulfill one’s obligations and to keep one’s word.”

    In my opinion it comes down to this: an underlying selfishness and reckless disregard for the “Othe”. The according to Chinese Medicine, “the You/soul” allows your ego/thoughts, personality/feelings or identity/desires to run YOU. The You/soul allows yourself permission to avoid being accountable and responsible for your “word”, excusing your behavior and deeds, while ignoring the needs and feelings of others.

    The You/soul has lost control of Self: self-honor, self respect and self-discipline. This goes hand in hand with “Entitlement disorder” where one believes it is alright to do whatever they want with no regard for consequences. They give their word in a moment, but lie later – destroying the trust and the relationship with each occurrence.

    Yes it is also BS that one can’t help themselves by falling in love. That just what it is – a Fall. That makes one a “victim” to their own choices and decisions.

    Take back your power. There is NO power in being a victim in life. Each of us had the power to observe our own decisions, choices and actions and witness the “Other”. We can hear their words, but BELIEVE their CONDUCT, as it reflects the content of their true character.

    Now look at your own words and conduct. Make the adjustment. The Past is history. The Future a vision. The Present is NOW, your Gift.
    Now is Good!

    To Your Health, Wealth and Prosperous 2015
    Saquina Akanni
    The Prosperity Doctor

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