try tosleep with your ex boyfriend. Your boyfriend. Your cousin. Your brother.
- They cannot make a single decision by themselves. They will call six girlfriends and the man they are sleeping with to find out what to wear. They will call ten girlfriends to find out whether to date such and such a guy. They will call 15 girlfriends to determine what the “He” of the moment meant when he said “xyz”. And then they go ahead and do the opposite of what they have been advised by the panel.
- They enjoy being the victim. In order to maintain victim status they get into bad situations that they know are bad situations (because all 15 friends in point 2 above have TOLD them they are bad situations) and then cry about it later. Bring on the violin.
- They bore you to tears for ten years about the mistake they made in point 3, usually dating someone who they knew was going to treat them badly and then proceeded to treat them badly (surprise surprise – string quartet). All at the same time as sneaking behind your back and sleeping with your ex boyfriend. Your boyfriend. Your cousin. Or your brother.
- They get jealous of the friendships you have with other people. Other women. Particularly good-looking ones. Men. Particularly (but not limited to) good-looking ones.
- They insult you in front of others to make themselves look stronger/better/prettier.
- They gossip. Usually in the form of “can I trust you with this?” or “can you keep a secret?”
- They are always in competition with someone. Mostly you. To the point of embarrassment.
- They comfort you when you have been hurt by your ex boyfriend or boyfriend (or cousin or brother), let you vent, agree on what an asshole he is and then go home and call him up to “comfort” him too.
- When confronted with their weakness the only response they’ve got is tears.
Cry me a river.