SPECIAL DAY!

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Followers of my blog will know that today is a special day for a cause very close to my heart.  I invite you to click on the Golden Hat link on this blog and donate to the Golden Hat Foundation, honouring the intellectual capabilities of those with autism.

My Other Blogs

My darling friends and foes who follow the Singlestream, I invite you to visit two new places to find my ideas.

The Be Coaching Group

Welcome to the Be Coaching Group blog!  I am happy to say it is up and running after much delay and contemplation and first-post jitters.  Have a look-see at what I have been creating in the world of wellness, and coaching in general!  I welcome your thoughts and your ideas on this professional coaching blog as much as I do right here in the Singlestream.  Don’t be shy – bring the same raw truth to me!

The Coaching Bible

I know I mentioned the Coaching Bible before.  It’s been so much fun!  If it’s your cup of tea, and even if it’s not, you are welcome to visit and see what has been happening in my read of the Bible as a Life Coach.  It’s quite different from the traditional view of Christianity if I say so myself!

You’ll see me around here still – still single and still streaming!  But now I’m using my real name :)

Love you loads!

Nikki

“Can’t get revenge and keep a spotless reputation”

“Wish I could be just a little less dramatic

like a Kennedy when Camelot went down in flames

Leave it to me to be holdin’ the matches

when the fire trucks show up and there’s nobody else to blame…”

OH MY GOODNESS!  This song is MAD

THE DAWN IS MINE

dawn is mineShifting, rising, waking

at the sound of song,

shuffling into slippers

to face another dawn.

One pup in her bed,

one out his window peering

as silver creeps across the lawn

that night is done with sharing.

Coffee poured and leashes latched -

a canine celebration!

And quietly we slip outside

to face a new creation.

Winged musicians yawn a song

as gold slides in their nest

“Of all the visits light has made

today will be the best!”

Palm boughs drip with diamond dew,

mist parts their leaves to rise,

grass flowers disrobe to bathe

in sunshine from the skies.

Green flash seekers line the beach

to search day’s end for a sign.

They can keep the burning sunset.

As for me, the dawn is mine.

 

Needy Woman

singleMY NEEDS ARE:

  • attention
  • acknowledgement
  • to feel like I am significant to someone who matters to me
  • stability
  • trust
  • quality time
  • matched intentions
  • recognition of my feelings, my thoughts, my stands
  • to be desired, wanted, TREASURED
  • to be cared for
  • to be treated like a lady
  • to feel feminine
  • (I could go on but I think you get it)

YES.  I said it.  I have needs.  These are mine.  They’re with me.

Isn’t it interesting how difficult it is for us Single Women to say that out loud?  And we know what our needs are.  But filling them in relationships often feels like an insurmountable task.

This morning, following a night of recognition of my unmet needs, I ask myself, and you, what is in the way?

I looked first to the party line – “I haven’t met a man who gets all of it and is ok with it.”  Really though?  Doesn’t just about every man have a corresponding list of human needs?  Weren’t we created with the intention of matching off eachother?  Many men are seeking that special someone to desire, to treasure, to give their attention to, whose trust and respect they crave to win, and whose intentions they seek to match.

In my own human experience I dug a little deeper.  So if it isn’t that I haven’t met a man who gets all of it and is ok with it all, then what is it?  And then I got it.

It’s not about the receiver not being open.

We just don’t throw the ball.

How many of us judge ourselves for having these needs?  I mean, who wants to be a NEEDY WOMAN?  Every day I see women punishing themselves for needing attention, for needing to be desired, for needing to feel significant to someone else.  I catch myself singing the same tune in my head, the modern tune of single women – you SHOULDN’T need these things!  Needing these things means I am broken.  And broken people do not deserve to be treasured, trusted, cared for, respected.  And needs are so unnattractive.

Right?  Sound familiar?

Honey, how NUTS is that?   How are we ever going to get those pesky needs that actually make us human met if we don’t accept them?

How can we expect anyone to believe that we deserve them to be met when we don’t feel that we deserve to have our needs met?

Who on earth would make a priority of filling a need of yours that you deny even exists?  Or believe shouldn’t exist?

I propose an experiment.  Single women out there, let’s try this out.  The next guy who is nice to you and strikes up a conversation in the supermarket, the bookstore, the coffee shop, the bar, find a way to weave it into the conversation.  ”I am a woman, I have needs, and it is important to me to get those needs met.”

I’m curious to see what happens!  Please be sure to tell me.  I’ll go first – I will have that conversation with 5 men before Monday.